Hey Taco Bell…The Illuminati is not a frivolous subject – Charlie Daniels Best response to a Taco Bell Ad ever… Hey Taco BellThe Illuminati is not a frivolous subject — Charlie Daniels (@CharlieDaniels) January 9, 2018
We have taken steps…to prevent recurrence of corned beef sandwiches in future flights. – NASA administrator James Webb to Congress RIP John Young, the man who was reprimanded by congress for smuggling a sandwich into space
PLEASE TELL ME THAT IS NOT YOUR PENIS! Line from Shorland Street, winner of New Zealand’s Quote of the Year I’ve been slacking. I want to start posting things I hear and read that make me happy again…
I like the medal. It’s bumpy. Like the road Barefoot Eddie
Because Alfalfa already had sprouts named after him and Spanky pancakes sounds dirty. – Elizabeth, responding to the age-old question: why is Buckwheat the only member of the Little Rascals to have a pancake named after him?
If you don’t fall down I’m going to trip you! – Paul, my Weymouth Woods 100k running buddy who fell twice in the first 50k…I didn’t fall until mile 40 (but quickly exceeded 2) Upright and fairly fresh
2015 Goals Blah Blah Blah Cuss Less <—–Fuck This One – The Rock.
Life for the American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to: Take-backsies – I’m pretty sure Cards Against Humanity is one reason I’m going to Hell.
And he’s not just pulling his pants up…the guy actually sells belts. That’s how devoted he is to the cause of raised pants! – Jessica Williams, putting Hannity in his place. I think she needs her own show.
Jenny declares GU to be tastiest treat ever. – Garbanzo I’m not sure this was the best thing I’ve heard or read all week…but this was definitely the best thing I’ve seen all week:
I’m sorry I suck at whipping pussy – Abby, whose bib said “Pussy Whipper” because mine said: Post Race Beer made everything all better
A Lot of fedora-type dudes don’t actually wear fedoras, you just know them from the way they are. It’s like a personality fedora. An internal fedora. It’s their Fedaura. – I love Tumblr.
Tell the pain to shut up, you’re not done yet – Joe Prusaitis, convincing a runner to not DNF Wild Hare 50
it was a great reminder to me of what it’s like to feel omitted in the absolute absence of any hostility or ill feeling. It was a reminder that some of the time, feeling not seen in a work that you’re watching or hearing or reading is not reminiscent of being insulted or consciously blown […]
If my numbers come up I’m strapping a penguin to my chest and I’m taking to the skies. F*&K you, Evolution! I decide who flies!!! – John Oliver, in a good piece on lotteries but I’m stuck on the penguin