Because Alfalfa already had sprouts named after him and Spanky pancakes sounds dirty. – Elizabeth, responding to the age-old question: why is Buckwheat the only member of the Little Rascals to have a pancake named after him?
If you don’t fall down I’m going to trip you! – Paul, my Weymouth Woods 100k running buddy who fell twice in the first 50k…I didn’t fall until mile 40 (but quickly exceeded 2) Upright and fairly fresh
2015 Goals Blah Blah Blah Cuss Less <—–Fuck This One – The Rock.
Life for the American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to: Take-backsies – I’m pretty sure Cards Against Humanity is one reason I’m going to Hell.
And he’s not just pulling his pants up…the guy actually sells belts. That’s how devoted he is to the cause of raised pants! – Jessica Williams, putting Hannity in his place. I think she needs her own show.
A Lot of fedora-type dudes don’t actually wear fedoras, you just know them from the way they are. It’s like a personality fedora. An internal fedora. It’s their Fedaura. – I love Tumblr.
it was a great reminder to me of what it’s like to feel omitted in the absolute absence of any hostility or ill feeling. It was a reminder that some of the time, feeling not seen in a work that you’re watching or hearing or reading is not reminiscent of being insulted or consciously blown […]
If my numbers come up I’m strapping a penguin to my chest and I’m taking to the skies. F*&K you, Evolution! I decide who flies!!! – John Oliver, in a good piece on lotteries but I’m stuck on the penguin
Now, if you came across some strange mucus or feces or something out there…on the subway, the street or anywhere else…you know, don’t eat it. – Errol Lewis, awesome advice on how to avoid contracting Ebola But you know this duck literally eats random shit…
Dear NASA, Your mom thought I was big enough – Pluto I hope you get your planet status back!
But I’ll settle for an ArModelo
If you’re very, very stupid, how can you possibly realize that you’re very very stupid? You’d have to be relatively intelligent to realize how stupid you are. If you’re absolutely no good at something at all, then you lack exactly the skills that you need to know that you’re absolutely no good at it. – John […]
Even if couched as a compliment, “exotic” does not say I am beautiful. It says I am beautiful in spite of, or perhaps because of, my race. If you want to compliment a woman whose ethnicity you can’t quite place, call her beautiful, because she is. If you ask me about my race, be transparent […]
I just go with whatever diet advertises the skinniest guy holding up the fattest pair of pants. – How to pick a diet according to fake people on The Onion Me too, Kevin. Me too.