FACT: More people have climbed Mt Everest than piñatas have pretty much done anything.* This is the story of one piñata’s adventures in the NC mountains (really big hills to you west coasters)
*The statement is on the internet now so it must be true
It all started one 4th of July, when two Rasians (that’s running asians to you newbs) decided to spend their holiday exploring the trails around Pilot Mountain and Hanging Rock. A quick stop for survival gear (Oreos, duh) turned into a longer one as a HUGE debate erupted over which piñata would make the better sherpa.
Sadly, Sarino’s lawyers caught wind of the plans to draw a mustache on Hello Kitty and sent scary lawyer-y threats. And since everyone knows a proper sherpa has facial hair…Gustav the vaguely European Boombox won the job (he was also on sale).
Gusatv proved to be a natural trail runner. Rocks, roots, and even cliffs were no match for him. He laughed at the trail’s death treats saying, “Whatever, Lauren Fleshman is my homeboy” in his vague European accent.
Rather than hit him with a stick, strangers opted to hit him with their best dance moves.
Just when he thought trail running couldn’t get any better, he was greeted with the most spectacular view. Even if he hadn’t been carried, it would have been worth the climb…
He had gone where no boombox piñata had gone before: From the the top of the world to cooling off in a waterfall,in the words of Ice Cube…..”Today was a good day”
Post race Gustav was beat…so the Rasians did their patriotic duty at a bar to light up some sparklers (OMG…I got carded for the sparklers. Apparently you have to be 18 to buy them and guess who looks 17?!?!!!!!!) while Gustav snuggled up with his fav b-tch and a bottle of Fireball.
As the sparklers died, so did the night. Good night moon. Poot.
Thanks for reading about Gustav’s first trail run. He cant wait to do it again!!! Follow him on Instagram to see what he does next.